I'm horrible....My goal in starting this blog was to make it so when Tori got older she could see what I was thinking when she was "x" old. And well I've slacked....but as of late, I'm making some new strides in my life and I'm getting back on the band wagon....Today is a few "firsts" for me....and I've made a couple of decisions for my life, and the betterment of my/our family.
I'll spare you all the details, and try and give it to you all in a nutshell....This month, I will be turning 31. Not a bad age at all. I didn't freak when I turned 30, so why freak out on 31? I guess I'm like my mom, age is just a number, and as long as I feel great, that's all that matters. The problem, I don't feel great....but that's neither here nor there. So here it all goes...I'm airing my laundry for all to see.....grab some popcorn and have a seat, and I hope you'll stay for the whole show.
In August of 2004, I woke up, looked in the mirror and was DISGUSTED. There I was, beyond the point of being pleasantly plump, and I resented myself for letting me get this way. So I acted upon it and did something about it. I joined Weight Watchers Online program. I exercised at least 5 days a week (my company had 3 gyms on location and it was dirt cheap) so I would exercise before I went to my desk. I loved it...and the pounds melted away. By February of 2005, I had taken up cycling. (Yes the kind that has 2 wheels and I have to use my feet to get it to move) and we (me, hubby, & my mom) were cycling about 200-250 miles per week. By the time that I got married in April 2005, I had lost 92lbs. And felt AMAZING!!! That July I had to have hand surgery, and it kept me from riding, but I also contracted a lung infection, that after 2 months of steroids I had gained 60lbs. I was miserable, tired, and just lost. I had given up. I kept off the last 32lbs though....but it wasn't the same. At the end of 2007 I decided to get back into things and was on a roll. I was slowly losing the weight, and it felt great, I had started cycling again and was up to about 100 miles a week. A far cry from my 200+ but it was a start. Then I started not feeling well in April 2008....and well you know the rest of the story. That's when I found out I was pregnant. A true blessing from God. I tried to keep up the exercising, however being put on bed rest at 20 weeks, eliminated that....So....after all that....here I sit today. The heaviest I have ever been in my life. Down and out about it, but WILLING to make a change. This morning I woke up, got Tori dressed, dropped her off at my sisters, and headed down the road.... I attended my 1st WW meeting today.
This road is going to be a tough one. I will have setbacks, and I know this. But it's not just about me anymore. I have the most amazing little girl to be healthy for. I don't want to be the "tubby" mom that can't go on the school field trips...or the mom who can't roll around on the floor with her. I want to be the mom that takes her jogging in the stroller, or pulls her in the trailer behind the bike. The mom that teaches her about self discpline, that exercise can be fun, and that when you are good to your body, it is good to you. I don't want her to grow up with a weight issue. I want her to be proud of her body, and the things she can do with it (ie: soccer, softball, swimming, cycling ect). I want her to be healthy....
Okay I said I wasn't going to get long winded but I did anyway...SORRY. But now you know what's going on in my world.
So this blog will now contain, my first time mommy experiences, my photography, and my road to a healthy new me....
I hope you all stay with me....it's going to be a roller coaster of a ride.....
5 days ago
It really isn't easy to be at a weight that keeps us from living life the way it should be. I used to be very heavy and lost a little over 100lbs about six years ago, I gained back some of it and I was actually working on losing what I'd gained back (about 30lbs) before finding out about baby number two coming. I'm telling you all this because I know what you're going through and how awful it feels...especially to look in the mirror and see someone that doesn't project how you feel on the inside. I think Tori is the perfect reason to get healthy and will probably be the best motivator you could ever get. Good luck...I'll be supporting you as best I can through comments! :)
ReplyDeleteI gained 53lbs during my pregnancy, and was absolutely miserable I hated looking in the mirror. I joined WW just after having the baby, and I am happy to say I lost all of the weight and some. It is hard and a huge commitment, but you can do it. It is worth it. Nothing you can eat is worth feeling that way about yourself. Good Luck, and remember to take it one day at a time, if you fall off just get right back on.
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