What One Has...

Over the weekend Vic and I had a long discussion about how our life is being lived. And it really made me start thinking about a lot of things.....surprisingly they were mostly all good.

Growing up, I came from a family that was established. My dad was the bread winner, my mom was a SAHM, and we (children) were pretty spoiled. Not to the point of being bratty, but to the point of not going without. My dad growing up, didn't have much, and it was his goal to make sure that he gave us the best things possible. So that we would not have to go through the hard times that he did. And he did just that. He provided very well for us. We had a huge house, nice cars, good clothes, was able to be in every extra circular activity known to man. And he supported it all...I had the silver trumpet when I became a freshman in high school, I had the private lessons, I had the car when I turned 16 along with the gas card to go with it. But there were rules that went with it all. No buying things other than gas w/ the card, grades must remain at A's, be home when told, do my chores ect. My mom was always with us. She finally got a job when we both were in school. And even that job was at the school. So she was always off when we were off....

Looking at it now, I was spoiled...very spoiled, and I was materialistic....

That leads me to our conversation.....so I'm going to put it all out on the line....it's more for me to reflect back on....

We don't have much. And you know we might not ever have a lot either. But that's perfectly alright with us. We don't live in a 4 bedroom, 3 bath, brick house, with a big back yard. We live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath mobile home, that's paid in full. And that's fine for us. We don't drive brand new cars. Vic has a 1997 Honda, and I have a 2006 Scion. But they are perfect for us. We don't take lavish vacations, we enjoy going camping on the weekend. I don't have a lot of extra money to go spend $50 bucks on a new blouse, but you know a $10 top from Wal-Mart will do me just fine. We don't have cable anymore, b/c of the added expense, but we can see almost anything on the Internet these days. Tori doesn't have a lot of toys, but a set of old pots and pans she loves the most. Even though there is the most gorgeous dress on the rack, it's not on sale or clearance; therefore, it will not make it to the check out stand with me. These are the things that make me who I am....

Our biggest issue in our conversation was our dwelling. You know, it's really not that much. But it's ours. It's paid for, it was a gift from my mom, and it's perfect for us. But for Vic, it's not enough. He wants to do more for us (meaning Tori and I), and he's having a hard time accepting that he can't. He says it makes him feel lesser of a husband/father, because he can't provide more. This saddens my heart. He feels that some might think less of us because of where we live or what we drive, or the clothes we wear, or the fact that we can't always go places with others because money limits this. He fails to see that WHO we are is what people should be looking at. If they only look at our material things, then they are missing what is in our hearts. He is an amazing husband, and an even more amazing dad to Tori. These are the things that people should be looking at. We could have the nicer things if I went back to work without a doubt. But the only one that would be missing out is Tori, and that's not fair to her. I CHOSE to have her, I CHOOSE to raise her. We do without, so that Tori may be raised in a loving environment, and be raised with the values that we want her to have. I don't want anyone else raising her. If she fails at something, it's because WE did not teach her right. WE will be the only ones to blame.

So after our conversation, we decided to do a little cleaning/reorganizing of our home. And it has made a world of difference. But we have decided there are some things that we want to change about our home. First, we will be ripping up the Hunter Green carpet, and the linoleum in our kitchen. I've found some vinyl tile at Lowe's that I am in love with. It will definitely brighten the house. Then we will lay area rugs down. Buy a $25 buck rug and changing it when you're tired of blue or burgundy is a lot cheaper than redoing the flooring again. I will also be redoing our curtains. I've found a pretty easy pattern for Roman shades, and we both agreed that that's what we want. The kitchen and den will be done first, then I'll do a room at a time, to cut down on expenses....but that's neither here nor there....

I guess my main reason for this post was to realize that what I have, may not be the best, may not be the most expensive, but it's mine/ours, and I need to be proud of what I do have. I have an amazing marriage, I have the most amazing little girl I could have ever dreamed of having, I have a roof over my head that can't be taken away, I have a job that I can take my daughter too, my husband has a great job, and I have a wonderful family. So to be honest, I have a perfect life. Yes it has it's ups and downs, but it's perfect for me. God has blessed me with so much, I just needed to take a step back and count my blessing....