hrmmm…well it’s 1:27 on Tuesday and I’m just sitting here on the couch. The motivation is out the window. I just can’t seem to get it together. There is a list of things that I need to get done, but no desire to do a damn thing. Not like me at all. I usually like to accomplish a little something everyday. Makes me feel like I’ve contributed to the house. (Beings I don’t work, I feel I need to make sure that things around here are taken care of.) The hubby won’t complain. There was breakfast for him this morning, he had a lunch to take to work, and when he arrives home, there will either be dinner waiting for him or almost off the stove. But still I feel I need to do something else. Monday is cleaning day and I got that accomplished, but today, the items on my list just aren’t even getting started. I don’t know what my deal is.
It seems now, that since I’ve been a SAHM, I tend to get down a little easier. I used to be so lively and full of energy, and I feel that slowly slipping away. I don’t know where that girl is anymore. She seemed to hop on the train out of my life. I’m not depressed, I just feel so out of my element. The things that make me smile are the wonderful smiles that Tori gives me. Her little bubbles that she blows. The funny sounds she makes when I tickle her kneecaps. But as bad as this is going to sound, it’s not enough. :( [see i told you that was going to sound bad.]
There are some days that I just don’t want to get out of my pj’s and you know what, I don’t. Even though I am on the go quiet often, I don’t really go anywhere by myself. I knew my life would change once I had a child. And by no means would I ever give this up. But I need to find me again. I need sometime for me to sit outside and drink a cup of coffee and let the world pass me by. To not feel guilty for not having the baby with me. I need this time to make me a better mom. And right now, that’s not happening. Just like I feel hubby needs time with just his daughter alone to make him a better dad. No, this is not a dig at my husband, because he is an AMAZING daddy. I just need some me time. To find me again. Not the old me, but the me that is now a mommy…..
I totally know how you feel!! I am in the same situation, new SAHM. I went through a period of about a month where I never showered, didn't want to go anywhere without baby, didn't do my housework. Then finally I made it a point to get up before the baby and try to work out or at least shower so I was dressed for the day and it really worked. It doesn't always happen but when I force myself to get showered and dressed before my baby is up, then my whole day just goes better. Good Luck...it is HARD to get motivated as a SAHM.
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad, we all go through that. I'm sure you'll think of something soon to help you feel more yourself. Maybe in the meantime you could have Daddy spend some quality time with Tori while you go out on your own to regroup. Go get a coffee and read a book, or whatever it is that you enjoy doing. And just so you know, I stay in pj's all day long during the week, I just put on a new clean pair after my shower every day, lol. Unless it's nice weather then I take the little one for a walk. Just going for a walk with Gia helps me feel better. Even though you are a SAHM you are working hard, it's not easy being the Mom and wife. I get very little "me" time and it will get to me every now and then. And I also have a great husband, so it has nothing to do with them. It's just a huge change to our life after the first child enters the picture. It doesn't mean we don't feel beyond blessed to have this new joy in our life it's just that we have to redefine ourselves a little after. Do something for yourself sweetie. I'm sure your husband won't mind in the least. :)
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